FRANCE: The Unexpected

Studying abroad has not been what I expected. Life has thrown me so many obstacles here in France. It hasn’t been the relaxing, thoughtful, and crazy experience I expected. It’s been full of life lessons and many high highs and low lows. Earlier this week, I wanted nothing more than to give up and go home. Learning French has been a dream of mine since I was little kid, but this week I felt as if some higher power is against my dream. After my whole hospital ordeal, I was ready to jump back into school on Monday. Then, I found out the most terrible news on Sunday, which is still difficult for me to process. My uncle died on Sunday. He was like a grandfather to me and it breaks my heart to think about the fact that I will never see him again. I will never get one of his special hugs again or never see him look at me with so much love ever again. It doesn’t seem real. It’s been so incredibly hard for me to focus this week with my classes when every spare second I think about him. I’m tearing up as I write this. He just means so much to me and it’s incredibly hard to be away from my family right now. It’s hard enough to mourn someone who is close to you, but even harder when you cannot be with the ones you love. I know I have to keep plugging along, catching up with work, and living my life but sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball in my room and just be sad. No one here knows him, no one can picture him the way I do. I just want to be surrounded by other people who loved him as much as I did. I want to talk to someone who understands my feelings inside and out. I just want a hug from my mom or dad. It’s just so hard because I know I won’t be able to attend the funeral (which is tomorrow) or take the break I need to mourn. I’ve already missed two weeks of school and unless I want to give up, I have to keep plugging. Right now, that is asking a lot.

One thing I’ve learned since being here - appreciate the people in your life and don’t take life for granted. Sounds cliché but it really isn’t. I feel so privileged to have been able to have so much time with such an amazing person. Uncle Nou taught me so much about how to love, how to work hard, and how to appreciate others. I never realized just how much he meant to me. Man, am I going to miss him. It’s just so important to appreciate your life and the people in it. You really never know when it’s your time to go. I definitely didn’t think Uncle Nou’s was coming anytime soon.

Although I’ve been really sad lately, today it got a little easier. I made a mental checklist of things that made me happy.

1. 1. Chatting with Micheline and getting an incredible hug after telling her about what happened.

2. 2. Tutorat with Elita – We talked about the difference between America’s and France’s laws on secularism. In France, religion is COMPLETELY separate from the state. For example, Muslims have to take off their burqas upon entering school and Christians cannot have a cross necklace showing. There was also a big controversy about a Muslim woman running a day care wearing a burqa. It was ruled unconstitutional for her to wear the burqa because it would influence the children’s views of religion. Such a different mindset from the US!

3. 3. Most delicious dessert I’ve had since being here. Bold statement, I know. But look at it and you might understand

4. 4. Buying 3 new French books – Le Petit Prince, Harry Potter 4 and wait for it…..ALANNA – aka a random fantasy book that no one except for me and Molly know but is my favorite book from adolescence!

5. 5. Planning a trip to Italy for the weekend. It’s so close I can’t not go.

6. 6. Getting a surprise present from Micheline at midnight - CHOCOLATE! (from the lovely delivery boy - Elliot)